This is my very slow journey, or maybe the story of my wrestling with God for years over doing something I feel He wants me to do and my finding every reason I can, not to do it.  I feel like a child finding reason after reason for not obeying a parent.
  My life isn't one of those picture perfect ones and I am not a writer or grammar guru and, well, it scares me to put "me" out there pretty much stripped naked, with nothing to cover my failures.  My life is more like several lives woven into one; a mixture of my failures and the failures of others, but scattered throughout those there are blessings in abundance.  
  I have tried for years to just sit down and write my story from beginning to end, but can't seem to get through it that way.  As I write the past, I feel like I miss the now and so I have decided that it is best to write it the way I originally started...as more of a journal, a mixture of the past and life as it happens now.  It probably isn't the correct way, but I am not a writer and I can't seem to do it the other way.  This is my history, my journey and maybe something will speak to you on your journey.  The one thing I hope you feel and accept is God's redeeming love.